Archive for November, 2011
BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz
What an…..ID DEEE YUTT. Libya???? REALLY?? Friggin’ LIBYA is a big stumbling block for you?? My God, even Sarah Palin can (probably) answer a question about Libya!!! You can hardly find a news outlet that has not covered Libya in the past few weeks. It’s literally….EVERYWHERE.
How can you possibly be both a presidential candidate AND be unprepared to talk about Libya???
How can you possibly have to clarify “which Libya” we’re talking about?? What the hell? Herman Cain….what an idiot. That is approaching the idiocy of Palin not being able to answer where she reads about current events (reading stuff….hell, reading words and such is for fancy elitist Democrats).
Unlike some of the accusations, this dumbfulness (already TM this word) I can see with my own eyes. Watch him looking at the ceiling (no, Jesus ain’t gonna help you run your damn head or help you make up crap) and watch him jumping around in his chair.
I thought for sure this was the end of Rick Perry. But he knew – it wasn’t the end. His handlers looked around at the other evolution-denying idiots he’s running with and (accurately) said “these other GOP candidates are just as stupid as this one. We’re fine”. And they’re RIGHT. This kind of shit would be a killer for any Democrat, because the bar is MUCH higher. Hell Howard Dean was killed by the Dems for far (far) less. It’s nutso.
Here’s what I thought was the end of Rick. How can a serious presidential candidate say he would get rid of the department of EDUCATION. It’s….I’m (almost) speechless:
If not maybe this one. If you show this to someone who doesn’t know who Rick Perry is, that person will bet 10:1 that this person is totally hammered.
When you see militia or police in riot gear beating unarmed college students – everyone in the world knows which side is wrong. Anytime you see militia in headgear and using their beating-sticks on students….reform is NEEDED and the people who sent them out there need to be replaced.
“How you beat Obama? Beat him with a Cain!”
There is no way a presidential candidate said this.
Why didn’t this asshole get fired? He knew about this years ago…he was part of the cover up. He should be going to JAIL. Only in shit-hole Pennsylvania….Only would these inbred paint-eating morons get upset at the media and have a mini-riot. Or still employ a guy who has admitted he knew about it but yet decided to turn a blind eye rather than alert authorities.
From what I know about earthquakes, the rocks underneath California are softer than the rocks under the midwest. This softness in the rocks is one of the reasons that quakes are much more common – they are able to slide around more frequently. It’s also a reason that many of these quakes are not significant. Contrast that with the rocks in the midwest that are solid. These plates don’t move around much. But when they do, the damage can be severe. The firmer rocks carry the movement for much farther than softer rocks that absorb the energy.
I’m not plate tectonic wizard – just some stuff I seem to recall. But after reading about the earthquake in Oklahoma on November 5th, I googled again.
I remember an earthquake being predicted around 1990 in the St. Louis area. It didn’t materialize, but it garnered a lot of attention and spurred a lot of documentaries on quakes and plates. The other thing that came to the forefront is New Madrid.
New Madrid is a small town in Missouri and its known as the center of a great quake in 1811. For those not familiar, here is some of the stories that are told – stories that seemed so fantastic it seemed like ‘lore. “It rang bells in Boston”, we would say as kids. The most famous was that the quake was so huge that “it made the mighty Mississippi run backwards”.
There were 3 quakes that started in December of 1811 and spilled into 1812. This is from Nat Geo:
Earthquakes in central or eastern U.S. affect much larger areas than quakes in the western part of the country.
On December 16, 1811, a powerful earthquake jolted the 400 residents of the town of New Madrid, Missouri. The intense tremor set church bells ringing in Boston, Massachusetts—1,000 miles (1,600 kilometers) away.
The 1811-1812 quakes were felt over more than 2 million square miles (5.2 million square kilometers), with chimneys falling in Cincinnati, Ohio, and sidewalks buckling in Baltimore, Maryland.
Miles of banks along the Mississippi River are reported to have caved in as a result of the events, and at certain points the land tilted so dramatically that the river ran backwards.
Larry Taylor, leader of the House Republican Caucus, very casually dropped a Jewish slur in a legislative committee hearing. He then remembered that he was in public and and in front of microphone, and that he shouldn’t be using his household language. He then immediately said that this was “probably” a bad term. Probably? There is no doubt about it.
To the insurance company and the speed at which they process claims, Larry instructed them: “Don’t nitpick, don’t try to Jew them down.”
Of course we will now all act surprised that a Republican uses racial slurs so casually.